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It’s interesting that during one of the most disordered, tumultuous times in recent history, we seem to be embracing fantasies of giving in. It’s as if, in a time where much is demanded from us—to hold the line, to keep it together, to maintain dignity in the face of disaster—embracing the mess has become forbidden fruit.
Jonathan Corpus Ong, a media scholar and professor of global media at the University of Massachusetts Amherst, sees a connection between the chaos of our times and why these characters are resonating now. “The past years have exposed a corrupt social order held together by such a fine thread,” he says. “So it’s kinky to desire chaos and anarchy in private and public lives. This erotic desire is also less stigmatized by self-help culture and new language about ‘unshaming’ ourselves and rejecting perfectionism.”
“I find fascinating to think about [all of this] in light of the recent celebritization of hot [alleged] assassin Luigi Mangione,” says Ong about the handsome, full-browed suspect in the shooting of the UnitedHealthcare CEO. “Society often projects its id on to the youth—in this case our burn-it-all-down anarchy fantasies on to Gen Z.”
While public discourse around cinema’s chaotic twinks have tended to be humorous, adding fun and irreverence to an awards season that has become increasingly dark and dead-serious, open conversations about topics that in another era might have been deemed shameful or embarrassing—sexual experimentation, introducing kink into a relationship—may go some way in destigmatizing what used to be sensitive subjects in our own lives.
“Culture changes people and people change culture,” says Todd Baratz, sex therapist and author of the book How to Love Someone Without Losing Your Mind. “And as culture changes, so do our value systems. So as culture is changing to being more open and more sex-positive, it’s expanding individuals’ and couples’ sense of freedom and their own sexual expression. And so in that space, that means people can explore a lot of the things that they might have previously felt shame about or felt like they shouldn’t be doing or someone would reject them for. There’s more risk taking and more freedom and more expression.”
Baratz says though that these appetites are nothing new: “It’s only resonating publicly 1740751316 but it’s not like it’s not been a piece of everyone’s life in all the areas that they function.. It’s just something that we talk about and acknowledge more now in relationships, just like we are doing with sex or even just with love languages or boundaries.”
Emily Morse, a sex therapist of over 20 years, who hosts the popular podcast Sex With Emily, says this relatively recent openness is crucial. “Because of social media, TikTok, the pandemic, I think we started to say, ‘Fuck it. We’re going to do what we want to do.’ There is this post-pandemic mentality and way of thinking where we’re prioritizing our pleasure more and being more spontaneous. We’re letting go of control in many ways. So we’re allowing more chaos and people are exploring more alternative ways of living, whether it’s intentional communities or open relationships or ethical non-monogamy and apps like Feeld… Even if politically it’s going in other ways, I actually think that it’s an exciting time to be sexual and to be open and to explore because there are more people that are.”
“It’s so funny because I actually think older men are chaotic too,” says Morse. “I think men are inherently chaotic in some ways because a lot of times, emotionally speaking, there’s a lot of dissatisfaction in heteronormative relationships with men’s emotional capacity to meet a woman and what they need. And so maybe we’re more willing to put up with the chaos of a younger man because we can have the excuse also that they just haven’t had enough life experience yet. There’s a little bit of maybe, mothering that goes into it.”
And while that behavior is often insufferable in real life, in art, it makes for compelling characters. “It’s almost like the fascination of looking at a car accident that you’re not involved in—you get to see the mess, but from the safe distance of your hopefully less-messy existence,” says Grattan.
