There is, once again, a lot of chatter online about young men and their living situations, this time set off by this somewhat over-the-top tweet about a “young straight dude” being overly impressed by a female acquaintance’s $40 knife block. The numerous reactions and riffs sparked by the knife-block tweet bring to mind an earlier round of damn-you-live-like-this? discourse touched off a few years back by Boy Room, a TikTok series in which young men welcome host Rachel Coster into their living spaces, many of which should be sealed by FEMA. The series is brilliant, entertaining, and disturbing. It reveals that a lot of ostensibly adult men are living in absolute squalor, in rooms where every surface is covered with stuff that could be folded and put away or simply tossed in the bin. The other side of this unfortunate coin is the Hypebeast Furnisher, who takes a streetwear approach to housewares—an offense almost as bad as living in filth. Large plastic toys, Supreme rugs, BAPE shower mats. If you are either of these types of guy, it’s time to grow up.
I always cared about how my room, house, or apartment looked, even when I lived in shitty places with roommates and had no money. When you are a young man, you are more concerned with your appearance than that of your hovel, so you allocate your funds to what feels most important: clothes, shoes, alcohol, and drugs. But your home and how it feels (and how it makes others feel) is a vital piece of the puzzle. When I lived in a house in Atlanta’s Cabbagetown neighborhood with two other guys in my early twenties, I was unofficially in charge of interior design, and I worked with my roommate to cheaply build custom furniture to work with the space. Yes, he was the only one with real skills; I merely had the vision. Still, we were able to create amazing dynamic shelving to house the beginnings of my book collection, as well as a giant “Last Supper” style table with benches that contained storage. We spent many, many late nights at that table. Posters, prints, and photographs were hung on the wall. The kitchen was outfitted with the bare necessities, but the plates, bowls, and cups were simple and clean but cheap. It took some effort, but it made our house the pre- and post-party spot for our entire extended network of friends.
Obviously, bringing your space up to code aesthetically can be a little harder in places like New York City, where space is both tight and expensive. But with some taste, you can troll Facebook Marketplace and procure great stuff at a very affordable price point. I am not saying you need to become an expert on midcentury design, but learning a little will help you make the right choices. Most guys are hoping to at some point bring someone back to their house, flat, or apartment for romantic purposes, which means keeping the sink free of dirty dishes and not letting your clothes and shoes pile up wherever you last dropped them. Will you still get laid if your house smells like a wet dog and your bed is on the floor? Maybe, especially if you know how to skateboard. But the sooner you realize that the vibe of your space matters, the better your life will be.
A few years ago, my wife and I renovated and furnished a house in Los Angeles, and I didn’t expect it to feel so good. Of course, it was often a pain in the ass, but having a space that fully represents your tastes and interests gives you a different level of confidence and security. You can achieve something similar in a rental, no matter how small. The first step is getting that mattress off the floor.
