Howera is a twenty-nine-year-old Ethiopian woman. She saw me in the neurology clinic for headaches. Two years previously, she had come to America to join her husband. Since her arrival, he beat her physically and abused her sexually. Being a stranger in a strange land and not speaking English, she suffered in silence. Finally, she could take it no longer. She ran away. For the past six months, she had been living in a battered women’s shelter. She was working as a cook at McDonald’s.
It was clear these headaches were due to the trauma she had endured, both physical and emotional. They were nothing special. After I reassured her that she had no serious disease in her brain, Howera said she felt great relief.
I asked Howera if she was hopeful for the future. She said she was. She had made friends with people at the shelter and at work. Howera also enjoyed community at her Ethiopian Christian Orthodox Church. She said she wanted to save money, go to school, learn better English, and get a good job. “America,” said Hawera, “is a great place.”
I closed the visit in my usual fashion. I asked if she had any further questions about what we discussed. Howera, who had kept her eyes downcast during the entire visit, now, for the first time, looked at me directly. “Doctor,” she smiled shyly, “I am graced to see you.”
“Howera,” I tried to say, “In seeing you today, I too am graced.” I tried to utter those words. I truly did. But the lump was so big in my throat that I could not speak them.
We physicians may feel the joy of our work comes from making a brilliant diagnosis or finding its cure. I get that. But sometimes, the joy of our work may come from doing nothing special except being “graced” to know people like Howera.
Scott Abramson practiced neurology with Kaiser Permanente Northern California for over 40 years, from 1979 to 2020. Throughout those years, Dr. Abramson was passionately involved in physician communication and physician wellness endeavors. Some of his insights and stories from his experiences in these endeavors can be found in video format on his YouTube website channel: Doctor Wisdom.
