House of the Dragon: what to say? True to its name, it features both dragons and houses. Tuning in every Sunday night satisfies a latent Game of Thrones need developed between the years of 2011-2019. A negroni sbagliato with prosecco in it? Iâm charmed! However, now that weâre barreling through the second half of season two, I need to speak my truth.
There is far too much bumbling in House of the Dragon.
If Game of Thrones had one standout quality, it was neither the sprawling battle scenes nor the overt sexuality. It was the constant scheming. Those Westerosi were Real Plotters: Varys. Tyrion Lannister. Littlefinger. Margaery Tyrell and her bitchy grandma. House of the Dragon, on the other hand, is chock-full of idiots.
Thatâs not to say there isnât any scheming in House of the Dragonâitâs just usually not particularly successful. And, of course, there were plenty of dummies scattered about Game of Thrones. (Edmure Tully, we salute you.) The ratio is just all off. In Game of Thrones, the characters wielded their competency like a Valyrian steel dagger. Their cleverness gave you someone to root for and flung the story forward. In House of the Dragon, the propulsive force seems to be an endless series of misunderstandingsâFrasier, but in Kingâs Landing.
If Game of Thrones was four-dimensional chess, House of the Dragon is Go Fish. The people in charge are all shockingly bad at their whole deal. Considering how they all have the equivalent of nuclear weapons they can ride, this is a liability. With every wrong moveâand there are manyâthese players are losing both the younger members of their families and the support of ordinary Westerosi. And they donât even have a court eunuch!
Theo Whiteman
Ser Criston Cole
Oh, Criston Cole. His foolishness can be neatly summed up via jewelry choices: in one scene, he is reluctant to wear the pin that marks him as Hand of the King. By the next episode, he is wearing a whole necklace made up of interlocking king-hands. And he just cannot stop blundering. His absence when young Jaehaerys Targaryen was killed, in itself a failure, was compounded when he rashly sent Arryk Cargyll to his death. His most obvious public relations mistake to date came in episode five when, following The Battle of Rookâs Nest, he chose to parade the dragon Meleysâs severed head through the streets and immediately lost the people.
