Michael Foti, MD, and Tushar Bhagat, PhD, recently reached out to me, each expressing that we are committed to the same goal: well-being for others, especially physicians. I paired them up for an episode of my YouTube channel, where they poignantly shared their journeys to becoming advocates for physician wellness. Through their work, they are creating synergistic loops of feeling better! Here are their stories:
Michael Foti, MD:
At a time when it’s needed most, we’re finally shedding light on the all-too-important topic of physician wellness. We’re realizing the importance of healing the healers. I’ve often said that sometimes we find a passion, and sometimes that passion finds us. It was the spring of 2020; the world was brought to its knees by the worst pandemic in a century. I was an intern still grappling with what it meant to be a doctor. Nonetheless, we all strapped on our N95s as we were called into action. The chaos and suffering that I witnessed was on a level I never thought imaginable. Young men and women in their 30s and 40s are gasping for air, alarms sounding in every corner of the hospital—this was truly one of the darkest times in our history.
A phone call in the middle of the night added to the buzzing alarms of yet another chaotic night shift. This alarm, though, was truly an unexpected one. My mom was admitted to the hospital with blood clots in her lungs. Fast forward two weeks, and she passed away suddenly due to complications of what we found to be stage 4 lung cancer. These truly were the darkest times of my life.
Upon graduating from residency, it finally seemed that the sun might shine again. My excitement, however, quickly turned into fear. I awakened each night with, by far, the most unbearable sensation I had ever experienced. My rib cage felt as if someone was trying to rip it open, and my left arm felt as if someone was trying to tear it off. I had developed a severe panic disorder, and at the time, I blamed it all on my career. I questioned, “Why is this happening to me?” and “Can I not do this?” It was my lowest point. I shuddered away from my wife and son, broken by the thought that I could not live up to the expectations of being a doctor. After the worst panic attack I had ever experienced and a trip to the emergency room, I was finally diagnosed with a panic disorder and depression. If not for myself, then for my wife and son, I was determined to get the help that I needed. I saw my primary care physician, who started me on antidepressant medication, and I was referred to a psychologist.
I finally took the time to take care of myself. It was the best decision I’ve ever made. We cannot be healers if we do not first heal ourselves. The stigma surrounding mental health brought the shame that kept me away from my family. As physicians, perfection is expected. We cannot forget, however, that physicians are just as much human as anyone else. The high levels of stress that we endure, and the potential consequences, including mental illness, are part of the human experience. We must work to normalize this important truth and, in doing so, empower all those in the health care field to get the help they need. I share my story because I suffered in silence, and I don’t want even a single person to do so as I had. There is no health without mental health. It is not a weakness, and it is by far the strongest thing you can do to get the help that you need. We recover out loud so others do not suffer in silence.
Tushar Bhagat, PhD:
During my doctoral studies in biomedical science, teaching first-year medical students became a valuable learning experience. A decade of spending time with these students while teaching histology not only deepened my understanding of pre-clinical and translational research but also exposed me to the humanistic challenges faced by medical students as I observed them throughout the entire cycle of medical school. The high-stress environment of medical education significantly impacted their personal and professional lives, a trend I observed even more acutely among residents and fellows while working with them in the laboratory. Their difficulties, uncertainties, and escalating stress levels profoundly affected their overall well-being, functionality, and happiness.
Throughout this time, I found solace and resilience through my Vipassana meditation practice (as taught by S. N. Goenka), which helped me navigate the rigors of a doctoral program. Occasionally, I would discreetly introduce meditation to medical students at the beginning of respiratory system labs. My informal teachings were met with encouragement by the students, and it was they who prompted me to share mindfulness practices more openly with the medical professionals in various stages of training.
My journey into formal science-based mindfulness education began as a test subject in a mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR) program, part of two graduatestudents’’ thesis research. Inspired by this experience, I pursued professional teacher training in MBSR at the University of Massachusetts and Brown University. Facilitating MBSR programs for medical professionals and others revealed to me how science-based mindfulness could alleviate stress and burnout, enabling individuals to function optimally as physicians and lead fulfilling, happier lives.
Research and clinical trials have consistently demonstrated the effectiveness of mindfulness in reducing stress, anxiety, burnout, and depression. Mindfulness practices improve decision-making, enhance relationships, promote restorative sleep, bolster the immune system, and cultivate a calmer state of mind, besides several other benefits essential for overall well-being.
I sincerely hope that physicians in training and those in policy-making positions will embrace science-based mindfulness practices. By doing so, they can improve the health of medical institutions and ensure that those who dedicate their lives to serving patients do not become patients themselves in the process!
Michael Foti is an internal medicine physician. Tushar Bhagat is a research assistant professor. Kim Downey is a physical therapist.
