Fencing has all the makings of something deeply and unarguably cool. It requires the coordination of a gymnast, but the strategy of a chess player. It’s fast-paced and roaring and rhythmic, a real-life version of a PlayStation 2 beat-em-up. And listen: you get to lunge at people with an actual sword. Yes, fencing may have roots in the 1600s—back when it was OK to marry your cousin and die of natural causes at the age of 22—but the art of saber-rattling still holds up. And at the Paris Olympics, fencing, like shooting and archery, has enjoyed some time in the sun. You might have disagreed with world number Sandro Bazadze screaming at a ref like he’d just found his car clamped, but it made for some excellent viewing (a quick YouTube search will cough up three-minute compilation videos of saber fencers “being ridiculously dramatic,” and it is a joy).
Of all these highlights, though, the world has missed one. Fencing has some unbelievably sick sneakers. As the sport wrapped up its Olympic leg on Sunday afternoon, the French foil men’s team celebrated a bronze medal in trainers that were clean, streamlined and, in their own way, slightly Y2K. And they were no outliers. Another closer look at Team Japan (gold medal, congrats lads) and Team Italy confirmed that fencing trainers were, and are, A Thing. They’re purpose-built for movement, dexterity and sliding forward in a duel like the wily, hot colonel that’s been messing around with the dauphin’s wife, or whatever fencing was once about.
But of course fencing sneakers are a thing, you say. Almost every single professional sport has dedicated kit, especially in a game that is so specific and so niche. But in a deeply saturated sneakerverse that seems to swing between running and soccer, why are we not getting prize kicks from fringe sports like fencing?
The sneakers themselves are tight, and not too dissimilar to indoor football sneakers. Except these are often tongueless, with laces fastened on an angled upper, and extra reinforcement to the heel and toe, because swords. After the never-ending saga of swollen sneakers, streamlined, blade-like silhouettes are a palate cleanser. Plus, they’re aesthetically in-step with the biggest sneakers of the last year, like the Miu Miu x New Balance SLs and (whisper it) the Adidas Samba.
